What do you think to the opening of my story?

Everyone froze. The usual babble coming from the crowds of the markets of London stopped. A man dropped his top hat as he stared in disbelief. The sky had turned grey except there was huge purple light in the sky. It looked like a huge ball of purple electricity in the sky except back in them days electricity didn’t exist so the people were even more baffled.


“What is that” whispers went round and people pointed some nervous some excited. Then as quickly as it had happened, it disappeared and the sky went back to its usual blue. People stood still then as if it had never happened they carried on and the loud babble started again.


However the purple light that shone in above the streets of London was not forgotten there was an article about in the paper and it was the main subject in conversations.


“Yeh first day of being me assistant blacksmith” George grinned and patted his son on the shoulder. “Following yeh father’s assistant eh” he laughed nastily. George was a nasty vile creature who was Lucian’s father. He didn’t want to follow his pig like fathers footsteps, he didn’t have a choice but back then not much people did. Lucian’s and Lucians mother Georgia was battered by the violent and abusive man daily it was his favourite and only sport he could do. “It’s difficult being a blacksmith” He continued. “Working hours , tiring yourself out, today I’ll show what to do then ill leave you to it for the day and see I how you get on.” He laughed loudly. “Do you understand” Lucian didn’t say anything. George slapped him hard on around i said do you understand.


“Yes” Lucian said quickly rubbing the back of his head.


“Good”|||you could use a different word choice around " It looked like a huge ball of purple electricity in the sky except back in them days electricity didn’t exist so the people were even more baffled. " and a comma after sky, EX:





a huge ball of purple lit up the sky, and the baffled nature of awestruck civilians added to the electricity in the air- electricity they never even knew existed.





it kind of just flows a lot better because the sentence i pointed out seems to interrupt the pattern of flow and give away the mystery the people are feeling when they saw the purple light.