Thursday, January 12, 2012

What do you think of the restaurant scene?

This is a restaurant scene in my novel The Occasions. Toby, the owner of the restaurant, is talking to Heffler, his imaginary friend.



Toby interpreted everything as though each part was an ingredient for a new narcotic recipe. He had to leave the room and throw away various bags and boxes. Then, he dusted the cabinets and scrubbed the walls. An imaginary friend knocked on the door of his ear and reminded him of an inspection coming soon. The inspector was from the fire department and wore prep-styled clothes so he could impress the gay clientele and did not know Toby was heterosexual. Then again, the imaginary friend thought Toby was bisexual and kept mentioning so to Toby. However, Toby’s girlfriend was involved with another man at the moment, proving the legitimacy of what the imaginary friend surmised. According to various books on cinematography, action can be related to any number of causes. One cause could be too much thyme in the asparagus salad. He also heard the front door opening and laughter before the door closed. He figured the gang walked out, respecting Toby’s privacy during a discussion moment with his imaginary friend. The moment was now and the friend’s name was Heffler.



Heffler appeared from behind Toby’s ear and wore his typical gray and pink jumpsuit decorated with purple and yellow feathers. He wore a mustache on his wrist and sunglasses on his neck. His ears were covered with miniature brown paper bags and a pizza coupon was taped to his forehead.



Heffler said, “I wore my mesh to cover up your tracks. You were inconsiderate by not determining the numbers involved in the package.”



Toby replied, “But you did not smack me with the fly like the bargain indicated on the spool.”



Heffler screamed, “This is not the way to go about petting your tortilla poodle!! You have to use masking tape and infiltrate the Russian book-keeper!! He will show you all about the damn crockery unless you want to stuff your pores with all that garbage like you did when we went to your cousin’s house and he was trying to jam a wax doll up his rectum!! You should know better than to call up Asia during the time you type the number seven!! It can cause the Bulgarian Buttermilk Police to curdle your brain!! It only takes five minutes to rectify taboo symbolism, you unholy camel who possesses the knowledge of demonic toothpaste!! I shall make an exorcism come into your nostrils and bake your toxic herbal system out of your infrared spy catchers!! Take it from me when I say I cannot condone your usage of anchovy paste on mousetraps, especially when nothing but bagels get caught and they bark like beagles!! Maybe you can take a walk and fly close to the airplane like you suggested on page ninety two when you went to graduate school and typed a frenzy while the nurse gave you a ********!! She was just as imaginary as me but at least I come wearing cool clothes, you ++++ ++++!! You cannot even put together a potato pie full of money and that’s what counts if you want to be robbed!! You make this restaurant a freaking coin machine of your punks who cause you harm when they scream at you when you walk along back roads!! You need a brown crayon to wipe away the grocery tears you’ve collected on your ancient journey towards Cairo when the stock market crashed into your lawn!! Pretty soon – and I mean this in the most ugly form of pretty as I can muster up – you cannot go just by my words, regardless of the dog who humps your leg!! You have to lick a cat’s stomach and add Drano to the megaphone because the fingers string me along until I can no longer do string tricks but the camera person told me otherwise and I had to harass him because he was such a stickler for perfect grammarian mammary circumspection… now look what you’ve made me do!! I have made a French excuse for a very German problem!! Just as long as you bang your nose against the marshmallow wall, I cannot be held libel for any lawyer type of action you have against my embezzlement techniques!! Just puff on this magic cigarette until you feel like you will disappear and that should scare the **** out of you but I told you before not to regard the bugs unless the bugs come to you first and then you can run the mile and make a runner for a song lyric with a razor in your fingernail but as long as it is made of gum you are okay!! My Italian mother told me this information and I will pass more along to you because you have bad springs in your mattress and you’ve never said hello to my advances so I cannot condone your heterosexuality, especially since I am also heterosexual and there cannot be two of us!! Hence, such is why I am your imaginary friend, even though some sources would say I am real and you are suffering from opposite-delusion but then no drugs could cure it so the pharmacies have to gain their share. Okay, maybe I have lingered and malingered too far but it is only out of love!!What do you think of the restaurant scene?
...middling. Like trying to read soup.What do you think of the restaurant scene?
Hemingway was always concise for a practical reason i think. Good luck with it all.

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What do you think of the restaurant scene?
2 lazy to read it

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